Doc. I hurt real bad.
Ain’t there no script for my pain?
She died. My heart broke.
**This is my first attempt at the Haiku Heights weekly prompt. This weeks’ is “script”. I’m inspired to try this by ReadinPleasure. Here’s the link to her post for this week’s prompt, “script”:
http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/weekly-haiku-heights-prompt-script/#comment-6519
Ow, Alice, this is so painful and poignant. A beautiful first attempt. I am glad you are on board and I can only say thanks a million for the link. Now I am blushing under my back hide.
ReadingPleasure,
I’m not so sure it’s really Haiku. I only figured out the word count. I’m not so good at numbers.;-) Then I convinced myself that this was nature, too.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Alice
Look what you did here. No scripts for this pain, I fear. Only time.
Susan,
The doctor part of me lept up to write haiku. What an odd feeling. At least I hope this is haiku. I read it to my 17 year old son. He came back later with one he made to show me how it should be done. More nature. He offered to pick up a book on haiku at the library for me. I am always a student.
Alice
Alice–what you have here is usually called a senryu–a haiku form but one dealing with abstract concepts.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/senryu
Got it. My kid was right. I read back on the Haiku page. It sounds like this still qualifies for the Haiku Heights prompt. Thanks. With such fine teachers around, I shall progress.
Alice
Oh, you are doing so well already, I can’t wait to see where you end up…
I don’t typically get Haiku’s (I don’t typically read them either!) But here is a try because I want to express the emotion I had after reading your Haiku
So sad that she died
The doctor in me just cried
And I feel useless
Parmisr,
This is lovely. And, as my friend Susan taught me this morning in the comments above, a variety of haiku called senryu. It reminds me of my Neuro clinic during internship so many decades ago. I would see a patient, then go in the bathroom and cry. It was such a hopeless feeling recording deterioration, month after month and nothing to be done for these lovely people. My mentor at the time (Samuel Trufant MD) told me that sometimes the only thing you can do is hold their hand.
Thanks for reminding me of this.
Alice
… To hold their hand. That is true, I must remind myself in those situations. I wish I had gone into psychiatry … Internal medicine has a lot of those “just hold their hands” moments … I am so moved that have started writing about my experiences and will post them soon. Thanks again
Don’t regret giving psychiatry a miss these days. It’s devolved into a high-speed prescribing conveyor belt owned by care managers. There’s no more doctor-patient relationship there. I’ve bailed for now. Yes. Write about your doctoring. It’s good for people to know what things are like.
Alice
I enjoyed seeing you attempt to convey one patient experience in a haiku. It is very challenging. I have written but not yet shared numerous haiku/senyru about various patient experiences I’ve had over many years. One suggestion : haiku/senyru is supposed to capture one moment in time(like a snapshot in words) Keep writing these – everyday day if you can… and keep reading them too. There are so many good haijin who are blogging! Enjoy. I am looking forward to reading more of your poems. Good luck!
Wabi Sabi,
Sorry slow to reply. I found this in spam filter. I’d like to see your patient experience senyru. I wasn’t trying to do this. It just popped out. I read. I write.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Alice
I don’t know much about being a doctor, but I’ve written (and read) more than my share of poetry. Re your (senryu) entry: This is poetry. Salute!
Thanks for your kind words to a beginner in poetry. I have much to learn.
Alice
What a heartbreaking last line. I thiink it’s a wonderful and successful haiku. Nicely done.
Write girl,
Sorry for the slow reply. I found this note in my spam filter just now. Go figure. Thanks for reading and comment. Haiku is new to me. This is the first. I’ve been told it’s actually senyru, a subtype of haiku.
Thanks for stopping by.
Alice
Well I loved your thoughts, it was moving and reminded me so much of my mum’s death. The comments section is fascinating too! Hope you keep up the haiku!
Heavenhappens,
I’m sorry for your loss. Mums leave a big hole.
Thanks for the encouraging words. I enjoy the comments very much. I find there’s a lot to learn from discussion.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Alice